Why?

Dazed, confused, insane,
Happy smiling
Circles of dizziness falter
Spin faster concentrically
I loose my bearings

Finding myself in another place
Another time
Further confused
Mixed signals
This way, that way...

I don't know where to go
Nowhere to hide
Wishing someone was around
Someone sensible
But I am alone

Insane, driving myself crazy
Worrying, wishing, wanting
Hating, loving, liking
Bouncing from extremes
Finding no middle ground

Impossible implausibilities
Run rampant
My mind out of control
Spinning concentric circles
Psychedelic colors dance

Hypnosis, total control
Others walk calmly
I run screaming through the crowd
Yet disturbingly calm
Outward appearance deceiving

Harpies wearing masks of goddesses
Ogres hidden behind a facade
Angels and devils mixed
Confused jumble of emotion
Uncertainty appears

Compounding craziness
Frustration grows
Uncomprehending thoughts
My mind makes no sense
My body is confusing

Thinking does no good
Depression appears
Mingled in with happiness
Someone shoot me, please
Put me out of my misery

NO! Live...
Confused, insane, dazed
Dizzy, crazy
Frustrated, depressed
Happy, alive
Non-sensical rambling on

Why can't I even understand myself?


        -- Bem Ajani Jones-Bey